Seeing the Person, Not Just the Diagnosis: My Approach to ADHD Coaching
For more than two decades, I worked as an occupational therapist, supporting children and adolescents with a wide range of physical, developmental, learning, and mental health challenges. Although my professional work has changed, I continue to live and work by the values of occupational therapy.
One of the things I valued most about OT was its attention to the individual. Even in the presence of a diagnosis or disability, the person always came first. When someone tells me they have ADHD, I recognize that it may be an important part of their experience, but it is not all of who they are.
Two people may have the same diagnosis yet experience the world very differently. Understanding how someone thinks, processes information, responds to their environment, and approaches everyday activities is essential to understanding what supports their participation in life. What works beautifully for one person may be ineffective for another. Everyone deserves empathetic listening, respect for their strengths and abilities, and an approach that honors their individuality.
Occupational therapy also taught me to appreciate the remarkable human capacity for adaptation. People continually find ways to respond to challenges, develop skills, and participate in activities that give their lives purpose and meaning. Optimism and a sense of possibility can be powerful resources in that process.
These perspectives remain central to my work. I see each client as a unique, valuable, and adaptable human being with their own experiences, strengths, challenges, and aspirations.
What I Appreciate About Adults with ADHD
Today, as a professional coach, I particularly enjoy working with adults who have ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence.
I appreciate the creativity, curiosity, sensitivity, unconventional perspectives, and depth of thinking that many bring to our conversations. Of course, these qualities aren't universal, and I would never want a diagnosis to define someone's personality or abilities. Part of what makes this work so interesting to me is getting to know the person beyond the label.
Many of the people I coach are bright, capable adults who have worked extraordinarily hard to succeed. Some have developed sophisticated ways of compensating for challenges with attention, organization, time management, or emotional regulation. Others have spent years comparing themselves with those around them and feeling they somehow fall short, even when their accomplishments suggest otherwise.
What interests me is not simply the challenges they experience, but the relationship they've developed with themselves along the way. Some have learned to rely on urgency to get things done, feel guilty when resting, or interpret difficulty completing a task as a personal failure. Others have become exceptionally skilled at meeting other people's expectations while losing touch with their own needs.
When adults with ADHD come to me for coaching, we often explore the advice they've received and the expectations they've carried throughout their lives. Frequently, those messages amount to some variation of "try harder."
Why Trying Harder Isn't the Answer
Trying harder doesn't make the neurological differences associated with ADHD disappear. Nor does it necessarily help someone feel comfortable setting aside the mask they've learned to wear and allowing their authentic abilities and personality to emerge.
Too often, executive functioning challenges are mistaken for laziness, lack of discipline, or insufficient motivation, while a person's strengths go unrecognized. The persistent expectation to work harder can contribute to discouragement, exhaustion, burnout, and a diminished sense of self.
Coaching offers an opportunity to examine the "rules" and beliefs we've been operating under and consider whether they still serve us. I find it meaningful to partner with people as they question expectations that may have limited them and explore what might work better in their lives.
Understanding Ourselves Opens New Possibilities
My occupational therapy background gave me an appreciation for the many ways our nervous systems, environments, experiences, and habits influence how we function across the lifespan. Although I no longer provide occupational therapy services, that understanding continues to inform my coaching.
Through coaching, I partner with adults as they explore what they want for themselves and how they might move toward it. Sometimes our conversations involve practical concerns such as managing competing priorities, navigating workplace expectations, developing helpful routines, or communicating more effectively. Other times, the exploration goes deeper.
For example:
Someone seeking greater productivity might discover that they're exhausted from constantly measuring their worth by what they accomplish.
A client might recognize that their self-talk has been cruel and unrelenting and begin experimenting with self-compassion as an alternative.
A person wanting more confidence might begin recognizing how often they dismiss their strengths or assume that others know better.
Someone who has spent years trying to meet conventional expectations might begin imagining what life could look like if they honored their own ways of thinking and working.
These are the conversations I find especially meaningful. I enjoy exploring mindset, beliefs, emotions, and the patterns we develop over time. I'm fascinated by what becomes possible when people recognize that a familiar way of thinking isn't necessarily the only way of thinking.
An Individualized, Strengths-Based Approach
I don't believe there is one correct way to organize a day, build a career, manage competing demands, or create a meaningful life. There are certainly skills and strategies worth learning, but what matters is whether they make sense for the person using them.
An approach that works well for someone else may be frustrating or unsustainable for a person with ADHD. Someone might explore a different relationship with time, new ways to initiate tasks, or a better understanding of what helps them stay engaged. Sometimes the most meaningful change isn't a new strategy at all, but a shift in a belief that has quietly shaped someone's choices for years.
I appreciate the creativity that can emerge when we stop assuming everyone should function in the same way. A diagnostic label can offer important information, but it should never become a substitute for understanding the person.
Why This Work Matters to Me
I learned about burnout the hard way. I know something about perfectionism, overworking, and believing that being deeply committed to something means continually asking more of yourself. That experience changed my relationship with work and success.
It's one reason I'm drawn to coaching people who are curious about themselves, willing to examine familiar beliefs, and interested in discovering more authentic and sustainable ways of living and working.
I love witnessing the insights, creativity, and new perspectives that emerge when people begin questioning expectations they may have lived with for years. My role isn't to help them become better at pretending to be someone they're not. It's to partner with them as they deepen their understanding of themselves, explore new possibilities, and make choices that reflect what matters to them.
I believe that when we truly know and value ourselves, we expand our capacity to contribute to the world around us. To me, that's one of the most meaningful possibilities coaching offers.
